singsongs
by blu-babe
Summary: I know, stupid title, but it delivers what it promises. These are hieiXbotan song fics. either they concern one or the other, or they concern both. i hope you like them.
1. Billy Talent Nothing to lose

disclaimer; i do not own YuYu Hakusho. although someday i hope to own something that's a tenth as cool as it is. and i do not own this song. the ever talented Billy Talent does. this story is following a baisic line of the music video. but it is tied very loosely, so i own the story.

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_**THESE ARE: BILLY TALENT LYRICS **_

_**"Nothing To Lose"**_

i cried. the tears that spilled from my eyes could match any that yukina cried. if you replaced the valuable gems with icey hate and bitter disgust. i'd joined keiko and yusuke at school once a year ago. i never really left the school after. it seemed like an amazing place to be, but like in most cases i was wrong. oh so wrong. i joined the school as a student the day after my first visit. that was the first of my many mistakes. no wait, scratch that it was the second mistake.

_**Need more friends with wings **_

_**All the angels I know Put concrete in my veins **_

_**I'd always walk home alone **_

_**So I became lifeless Just like my telephone**_

i was the instant target for yusuke's enamies, kurama's fan club and kuwabara's other rivals. they treated me like they would a sister, i should have never allowed it. but i did, and as a result they hate me. one determined enemie was all it took for them to leave. soyuko. that bastard, he would pick on me everyday and pretend to be best friends with the others. they had succumbed to his charm, but i didn't trust him. thus began our fight, leaving me an open target. how i hated soyuko right then.

_**There's nothing to lose **_

_**When no one knows your name **_

_**There's nothing to gain **_

_**But the days don't seem to change**_

not one single person in the school could remember my name, not even my old friends. soyuko had made sure of that. if i had been naive enough i would have sworn he was a demon. but no demon lives with pure human blood and soul within him. by the fourth month at school they were beyond taunting and teasing. i was pushed around in the hallways, shoved into lockers and tripped down flights of stairs. I would hide the bruises they caused, not that any one would have cared had they seen them. i was just in the way too much. how they hated me so i'll never know. it was just one of those 'at first sight' deals i guess. sometimes i'd wished it to be a love at first sight, not hate at first sight. but if it had been, i'd never have learned the humans true nature.

_**Never played truth or dare**_

_**I'd have to check my mirror To see if I'm still here **_

_**My parents had no clue **_

**_That I ate all my lunches Alone in the bathroom_**

i was born human at some point, but it hardly counted. i didn't live long, i died under the pretense that everything was good and pure. even if it was by murder. i was walking down the hall, this was just yesterday, clutching a black book to my chest. in it was the perfect plan. i didn't have to stay here. i could just make my way to rekai, and maybe ask koenma for another shot at a different life. i had lost all contact with any demons other than kurama since i had run away from reikai. you thought i'd been kicked out right? well not exactly. koenma was cheating on me for a long time. but he never wanted me to leave. he liked to have his cake and eat it to, if you catch what i mean. but i ran away. and that was why i'd come to school with yusuke and keiko.

There's nothing to lose 

_**When no one knows your name **_

_**There's nothing to gain **_

_**But the days don't seem to change **_

_**There's nothing to lose **_

_**My notebook will explain **_

**_There's nothing to gain And I can't fight the pain_**

keiko. my heart wretched in pain. i had witnesed soyuko murder her. we were out having coffee, i left for the bathroom and returned to see soyuko snapping her neck. he caught me watching and threatened me. "if you ever tell any one i'll kill you slowly. i'll send you to hell in pieces." from that very moment i had died inside. i had never know a moment of depression before in my life. it was so horrible. it was like swelling waters, i was drowning from the inside out. no, scratch that. i AM drowning from the inside out. i am still walking down this hall. what you see is my diary pages. i plan on shoving this in yusuke's mouth when i have died. i know my spirit will have enough energy for that. i just pray the spell of soyuko's charm will vanish with my life.

_**Teachers said "it's just a phase" **_

_**When I grow up my children Will probably do the same **_

_**Kids just love to tease **_

**_Who'd know it put me underground At seventeen_**

funny isn't it? when i died the first time i was barely five. only twelve years of life added upon that. if i knew then what i know now id've killed koenma for giving back my life. it was a gift, a gift to celebrate nearly a thousand years of faithful, reliable service. i just passed the science lab, there they are. yusuke, kurama, kuwabara and soyuko, they have something behind their backs and they're smirking at me. i am not afraid. i can see the shiney metal. i can see the green sparkle on the metal. poisoned knives. brutal, but my death had to be special so i will keep walking. only twenty feet between myself and the mechanics room.

_**There's nothing to lose**_

_**When no one knows your name **_

_**There's nothing to gain **_

**_But the days don't seem to change_**

i hear footsteps, and i know it's them. but i will keep walking. you must know more before i complete this. soyuko is the closest to pure evil i have ever seen, he may not be a demon but he has the heart of one. you will remember some day that evil is murder, and murder is wrong, wrong will remind you of keiko, who you forgot about so long ago. i am completely disgusted with the acts of a human heart out of spite and vengence. just a few more steps, something just collided with my head! is, is that my blood? it's pooling on the floor, but i have to do this my way! i'm going to just keep walking. soyuko is giving me a hungry stare, it swam with blood lust. perhaps i was wrong. maybe he truely is a demon.

_**There's nothing to lose**_

_**My notebook will explain **_

_**There's nothing to gain **_

_**And I can't fight the pain**_

it doesn't really matter much though. yusuke will kill him when his mind is free. another knife, similar to the one lodged in my head, was just thrown into my side. the first one had been kuwabara's, this one was kurama's. i opened the shop door before me, and i walked in. the last two knives found their way into my shoulders. yusuke on the right, and soyuko on the left. how befitting that he threw one to pierce my heart. i can still feel my tears as they poor openly mixing with the blood on my face. i stepped over to the car and i readied it so i may die from its very fumes. i wasn't worried about who owned it. i couldn't care if soyuko had to enter it knowing it housed my death. i am sure he would enjoy it so much.

_**There's nothing to lose **_

_**When no one knows your name **_

_**There's nothing to gain **_

**_But the days don't seem to change_**

it may be the poison in my brain, but this feels so pleasent. the fumes are like the smell of autumn. my death will be swift. i don't clearly remember what happened. one moment i was taking deep breaths of the fumes and the next some one was pulling at the car door. by the time it was opened i was close to unconciousness. the blades were pulled from my body, out of feigned hope and dellusion i believed they'd stay out. but it was just that, dellusional hope. i felt them re enter all in the same place. that didn't do it. i was still breathing. my battered and literally shredded heart was still beating. they had to shred my body beyond the point of recognition, and i rolled over, pushing the last blade in myself with the cold hard ground.

_**There's nothing to lose **_

_**When no one knows your name **_

_**There's nothing to gain **_

**_And I just died today_**

i am floating above my body and i prepare to shove the book into yusuke's mouth, as i had planned. but i heard soyuko speaking. "good job urameshi. your plan has worked. the women are out of your life. and they do not know of your betreyal to them." i faultered and saw ayame, the ferry girl who'd stolen half of koenma's love, come for me. "it is time." she said. but shook my head, "no. i need to listen longer. i need to know why!" she frowned and scowled, obviously displeased but she allowed me to linger. kuwabara looked at me and nudged yusuke. they glared at me, "why?", they refused to answer my simple question. so i allowed ayame to pull me out of the room, before i was out of earshot i heard them mumble, "because humanity is evil. and you needed to see that." the next tear to fall froze from the evil in my presence. figures. koenma started this. and she'd be sure to end it.

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yo and hello readers and reviewers. i am new to YuYu Hakusho fanfiction. please don't think anything bad about my first fic, albeit a song fic, possing yusuke, kuwabara, kurama and the others evil. i spent a while researching them before i even wrote this. i have attempted a couple happier plot lined stories concerning botan and hiei, and perhaps i will post them. you can flame my work if you so wish, i understand that not everyone will like my sadistic way of writing. that's not to say i feel happy when i write this kind of thing, i am simply just better when it comes to descriptions such as these. soyuko is my own character. i am not aware if anyone on the show, good or bad has that name. 


	2. Sum 41 Pieces

Disclaimer : i do not own YuYu Hakusho or the song.

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_**Sum 41 Lyrics:**_

_**Pieces **_

"a one time bubbly person like myself is the last person you'd expect to be here, ne?" i looked around the room. it was a support group, here in reikai for those who'd died. "i died during a mission, sure i'd been brought back almost immediately but i changed anyway. with what i saw you could not blame me. it was a dark and dreary as hell, thousands of people saying overly optimistic things. and i realized that was what i was doing. no wonder they didn't come for me immediately." everyone around me just stared. they were all mortals, stupid little ningens who died in denial. i was actually teaching this group how to get over it.

_**I tried to be perfect But nothing was worth it **_

_**I don't believe it makes me real **_

**_I thought it'd be easy But no one believes me_**

I meant all the things that I said i had to explain myself of course, or else they'd not trust me. "it was a whole five days before i heard some one call out my name. i ran towards the voice, albeit spiteful and disgusted, it was looking for me. i knew who it belonged to, and i wished to be where he was. on the outside, living, breathing and not surrounded by a million of me." i paused, they looked confused. but they couldn't ask any questions just yet. "i reached out my hand and he grabbed it. i was pulled forward and air once again filled my lungs, the blood moved through my body again. but that smile, it never surfaced. i only blinked at all those in the room. they all winced, waiting for me to become hyper again."

**_If you believe it's in my soul _**

_**I'd say all the words that I know **_

_**Just to see if it would show **_

_**That I'm trying to let you know **_

**_That I'm better off on my own_**

"sorry. i said. sorry i annoyed you all so much. it would be better if i leave. i saw them relax from their tensed positions, they almost seemed happy that i was back now. yes i heard, yes it would be best if you did. i stood up, i may have wobbled and fallen but i pushed away the annoyed hand that reached to help me." i allowed a tiny little smile. they were listening intently, that was good. "had i been my normal self i would have smiled or laughed at his some-what confused face. but i wasn't normal, so i just pushed myself off the floor and walked to the door. sorry i put you through hell. was all i said before i left. i didn't say goodbye, because that was a lie. it was not good in any way for me."

_**This place is so empty **_

_**My thoughts are so tempting **_

_**I don't know how it got so bad **_

_**Sometimes it's so crazy **_

_**that nothing can save me **_

**_But it's the only thing that I have_**

"that day was just a week ago. i have not returned to ningenkai to pick up my belongings, they were thrown into the river styx at the gates of reikai. i havn't been happy or cheery since i went through that hell, afraid of overdoing things again. but you all should be better than me. i want everyone of you smiling if not laughing by time you leave today." i saw them all nod. they were afraid now. good, that was the first step.

_**If you believe it's in my soul **_

_**I'd say all the words that I know **_

_**Just to see if it would show **_

_**That I'm trying to let you know **_

**_That I'm better off on my own_**

hours of this brought nothing to me, not fatigue nor pain of any kind. the groups that passed through my class during this day were easy to convince. some started laughing or smiling just by hearing my story. some needed a couple jokes, and others needed a memory wipe down. but they all left laughing and smiling. the old me would have been smiling and laughing as well by now, but the new me still had a straight look.

**_(On my own!)_**

the beuty of being alone is how quite and dark it becomes. my mind runs about a hundred times better, i can sense things more clearly. why right now koenma was approaching. along with ayame. i could tell by his aura i was in trouble. i knew he was going to tell me to get lost too. but i welcomed it. i had always wanted to venture into makai. i didn't flnch as he slammed open my door. "botan! what the hell are you doing! these souls are not recovering. they just snicker once and you pass them." he slammed all thirty of the file's i'd approved today in front of me. "sir, just because they are not smiling every minute does not mean that they are not happy. but if you insist i am wrong then perhaps you should fire me before i make another mistake." i watched him contemplate it.

_**I tried to be perfect It just wasn't worth it **_

_**Nothing could ever be so wrong **_

**_It's hard to believe me It never gets easy I guess I knew that all along_**

i had surprised him, i know i had. he only came to make me express something. he only nodded and pointed to the door. i stood up and left, not bothering to grab anything. i walked for hours in makai, it was midnight before any demon found me. they made no hesitiation in killing me. and again i was hurled into my hell. but instead of happy people i saw only guilty and disgusted people. no matter how i changed it was still hell to be around me. how could that be so? it was almost a year before i heard some one calling me again. worry and guilt apparent in the voice. but i did not reach out to it, nor did i embrace it in any way.

_**If you believe it's in my soul **_

_**I'd say all the words that I know **_

_**Just to see if it would show **_

_**That I'm trying to let you know **_

**_That I'm better off on my own._**

i sat down and closed my eyes, everything but the voice dissapeared. it haunted me only for a moment longer. instead of calling my name it whispered "fine. we don't need you anyway." and that phrase continued to haunt me as i dwelled in my hell.

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again, it is in my sadistic writitn style. and it is botan. the voice which calls her is none other than the only guy with a temper as short as he is, drum roll please! Hiei! yes the voice is hiei. from this point on you may encounter some slightly happier songs, which make for happier fics. sorry you had to sit through my sad songfics first. 


	3. Jewel I'm sensitive

Disclaimer: i do not own YuYu Hakusho or the song.

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**JEWEL LYRICS **

**"I'm Sensitive"**

"baka onna! don't you come near me with that thing!" the blue haired diety frowned, "but hiei, i'm supposed to take you to rekai. koenma didn't sound happy when he told me to do it. it can't be that bad can it?"

**_I was thinking that I might fly today Just to disprove all the things you say_**

he just climbed up into the closest tree. "why don't you go bother some one else." she stomped her foot on the ground and growled. "because i was told to come and get you. and bring you to koenma's office!" she summoned her oar again and smacked the trunk of his tree, causing him to fall out of it.

_**It doesn't take a talent to be mean Your words can crush things that are unseen **_

she saw him hit the ground and laughed until he started growling at her. "you'd better run before i kill you for that." she backed away a couple steps. "if you'd just listened..."

_**So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way.**_

if you'd only listen better you'd have heard me cry when i thought you'd died. you'd have heard me whisper how i love you when i sleep. "...then maybe i wouldn't have done that."

_**You always tell me that is impossible To be respected and be a girl**_

he just growled and stood up. he showed no indication that he'd heard her words. "you have to the count of three." she took another step back, he was really scary like this. "now now hiei. calm down."

**_Why's it gotta be so complicated? Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated?_**

"one..." she started walking backwards. afraid he'd attack before three if she turned her back on him. why isn't she running? he thought angrily as he continued to approach her, still growling.

**_So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way._**

"...two..." she began moving faster, still facing him. she hit a tree but she didn't stop. she didn't pay any mind to the branches that slowly tore more holes in her kimono.

**_I was thinking that it might do some good If we robbed the cynics and took all their food_**

she may not have noticed. but hiei did. and it was becoming harder to concentrate on why he was about to kill her. she is almost to beautiful to kill. something like her should be treasured...

**_That way what they believe will have taken place And we can give it to people who have some faith_**

...wait, what am i thinking? i don't...i shouldn't...i can't think like this! he shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts. "...three..." she started running as fast as she could. she knew there was no way in hell she could escape, but she wanted to try.

**_So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way._**

i'm so dead now. baka baka baka! why did i have to pester him? why did koenma sentence me to death like this? death by the hands of the one person i love...she turned to look back, to see if he was still following her.

**_I have this theory that if we're told we're bad Then that's the only idea we'll ever have_**

bad move. he appeared right in front of her and she fell to the ground. he was sitting on her, well more like straddling, with his left arm pinnig her hands above her head.

_**But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty Someday we will become what we see **_

"you should have run sooner. then maybe you could have escaped. pity. for you that is." his head was very close to her own, seeing as he was using his whole arm to hold down her wrists.

**_'Cause anyone can start a conflict_**

"hn. pathetic baka. did you think you could do that and get away with it?" he smirked as she trembled beneath him. his close proximity was playing with her mind, she felt like she wanted to kiss him. yet she just wanted to get away from him.

**_it's harder yet to disregard it_**

"i hate you!" her scream stunned him for a moment. but he got over it and leaned closer to her, his face now only an inch from hers. "well that's too bad." you can't kill her. you love her. he knew his mind was right. he wasn't having 'problems' with her beneath him for no reason.

**_I'd rather see the world from another angle We are everyday angels_**

he leaned down so his mouth was by her ear, "well that's just too bad. because i don't hate you. and i rather like how you feel against me." she shivered. this was what she'd wanted for so long. so then, why wasn't she happy?

_**Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way **_

"what if i didn't hate you?" she whispered, he was nuzzleing her neck, she was almost afraid of what he'd say. he stopped for a momnet to think on his answer. "i'd have to kill you." the smirk on his face showed her it was a joke. but she couldn't be sure.

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see? it's not so bad. it's not that sadistic either. plus she doesn't die in this one! 


	4. Chelly Wright Shut up and drive

disclaimer: i do not own YuYu Hakusho or the song.

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_**CHELY WRIGHT LYRICS **_

**_"Shut Up And Drive"_**

she summoned her oar. she'd show him. she'd show that toddler what he gave up. she just caught him sleeping with another woman. she flew off, not hearing his plea's begging her to stay.

**_Shut up and drive You don't know what you're talking about He's not the one_**

she was half way to yusuke's and keiko's apartment before she doubted her actions. maybe it was a mistake? a misunderstanding? perhaps he deserved another chance?

**_You ought to know that by now You've got one of those hearts That keeps changing your mind Your heart has a way of making you stay So shut up and drive_**

she turned her oar around and flew back to reikai, maybe she could give him a chance to earn her trust again. she stopped before she got too far. _NO! Botan, he was wrong to do that. you can't forgive him. how could that have been a mistake? he sure as hell looked like he was enjoying it!_ she whimpered and started back to the detective's home.

**_Don't look in the mirror He might have that look in his eyes The one thats so strong It strangles your will to survive_**

she got a little closer before she doubted her actions again. maybe they could talk it out? she could work around it, forgive him once, right? she turned around, flying to reikai again. but she didn't make it too far. she didn't notice the black figure watching her, she was too deep in thought.

**_He's mastered the art Of looking sincere His eyes have a way of making you stay Don't look in the mirror_**

_He'll just do it again, the second you forgive him, he'll think of her. do you want him to hurt you again?...no, no i don't..._she turned around and flew towards yusuke and keiko again. she was about to knock on the door when she heard something behind her. she turned around and saw koenma, he looked so sad, and sorry. "k-koenma..."

**_I'm the voice you never listen to And I had to break your heart to make you see That he's the one who will be missing you_**

she bowed her head, "w-why, i thought you loved me?" she heard him shift his feet. they were both unaware of the shadow watching them from a tree. she heard him sigh, "i did...i do love you botan. i love you and only you." she looked up at him, tears falling from her eyes, leaving stains where they hit the ground. "then why did i find you sleeping with her!"

**_And you'll only miss the man That you wanted him to be_**

he sighed again, "i don't know. you were supposed to be gone all night." she recoiled in disgust as he reached out to touch her. "how dare you! how dare you say that! you beg me to come back and then you lie to me? twice?" she glared at him through her tears, but he didn't back down. "botan, i didn't plan for you to find out...please forgive me, take me back. please?"

**_Turn the radio on To drown out the sound of goodbye Blink back the tears Show me you've still got your pride_**

she shook her head violently, he took a step toward her and her hand shot up. "don't you, don't you dare you big baby. if i can't trust you, then i can't even look at you. stay away!" he took another step, "but botan..." "i believe she told you to fuck off toddler." they both turned to see hiei. he had become tired of watching them fight from the side lines and decided to help her when koenma started walking toward her.

**_Just get yourself lost In a sad country song Those guys that they play Know just what to say Turn the radio on._**

"hiei?" she looked at him with tears in her eyes, she took a step toward him but koenma grabbed her arm, "you stay out of this demon. this has nothing to do with you. botan, ignore him. come home with me. please?" she looked between them. hiei was her friend, and he never butted into anything unless it was important, but koenma was the man she loved. HAD loved. you don't love him any more. she pulled her arm away from him.

**_I'm the voice you never listen to And I had to break your heart to make you see That he's the one who will be missing you_**

"y-you saty away from me. i want to go with hiei. he's my friend." she backed away from the godling, watching his face contort in anger. "why? he's a bloody murderer botan. you remeber when you died? that was him! he killed you!" she put her hands over her ears and screamed, "NO! YOU'RE LYING! HE WOULDN'T!" she ran over to hiei and fell to the ground, sobbing. "no no no no no no no!"

_**And you'll only miss the man That you wanted him to be**_

"onna, he's lying. i didn't kill you. get up." he offered her his hand and pulled her up into an embrace. he glared at koenma, "i believe you should go before she asks me to kill you. don't think i won't do it. because i will." the godling turned around and left, saying only one thing. "you're fired." botan broke down sobbing again and hiei held her closer. they heard a gasp close by and saw keiko and yusuke starring on in disbelief.

**_Shut up and drive Don't look in the mirror_**

"b-botan? would you like to stay here?" keiko saw botan nod slightly, her face still burried in hiei's shoulder. they knew she was still crying. "hey hiei, would you like to stay too? we've got two spare beds." hiei looked from botan to the detective. he considered it for a moment before nodding. he didn't think it would be wise to just leave botan after all that. she would never trust him again if he did.

**_Turn the radio on Get out of here_**

yusuke led them to the spare room, there was one big bed in the middle, made up of two different mattresses. yusuke pushed them about a foot apart and hiei and botan sat down on the end of one. "h-he was cheating on me." they looked at botan, her voice was so unsure, but it wasn't a question. keiko walked into the room with a pair of pjama's for botan and some hot tea for her and hiei. "arigato. all of you." botan whipped away her tears, "thank you for everything."

**_Shut up and drive Shut up and drive Shut up and drive_**

she fell asleep in hiei's embrace and he laid her down on the bed. yusuke and keiko waved goodnight and left the room. when hiei tried to pull his arms away from botan she clutched onto them tighter, and mumbled "n-no...don't leave...". he sighed and layed down beside her, and fell asleep within moments.

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TA-DA! done! and look it's sort of a happy ending, ne? i hope you liked it 


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